Away

Today was Bee's first day back in preschool and Mei's first morning at daycare, ever.  There were no tears (theirs or mine) and I didn't even linger outside the door after we said goodbye to Mei.  The worry/anxiety is there, but I am trying to hold it at bay.  It helps that the daycare is five minutes or a phone call away, and they are only there for mornings.

It hasn't been easy for me to leave Mei, in general, because she is so attached to me and often only wants to be soothed by me (and my supply of breast milk).  When I'm away from her, I have to really be intentional about not obsessing about how she is doing, how she is feeling, whether or not whomever is watching her will be able to comfort her and meet her needs.

I've been following Ashley Ann's adoption journey from the very beginning and I was overwhelmed with joy (and tears) when I read her update this morning.  They finally got to meet their beautiful daughter!  My heart overflows.  Reading their story put my own anxieties about Mei in perspective, that's for sure.  So much of parenthood is risk--the risk of having your heart halfway around the world in China, or five minutes down the street at daycare.

I have to remind myself that, unlike in the picture above, Mei is not a newborn anymore!